Can I just say it out loud? Real quick, before I realize that a good Christian girl shouldn’t say it?
I hate dying to myself.
I’m kinda sick of it.
Opps…did that just come out? I mean, I do mean what I said but…I’m not supposed to feel that way, right?
Something kinda sorta silly happened back in August.
I was going to take M, my 2 year old, to Sea World. We were going to Sea World for free because he’s under 3 and because I taught school in the great state of Texas last year.
You see, Sea World does this really cool thing and gives teachers free season park passes.
Well, they’re free if you remember to sign up for the free pass before May 31st.
I’m not sure if I was too busy breaking my foot a second time and packing up my classroom that I forgot, or, I just didn’t see the fine print that said you had to sign up before May 31st, but I don’t have a season pass:( And while we’re on it, let’s go with the “I was too busy breaking my foot” part just to make myself feel better, ok?
The dying to myself came in reference to feeling sorry for myself that my husband and I aren’t made of money.
That there is more to life than having a large annual salary…
or buying a house
or getting that
new gadget or toy new car
or having clothes that aren’t stained from my 2 year old and my 2 month old.
I wanted to complain to God that we don’t have more of this or that. But instead, I felt the gentle Spirit telling me that yes, once again, I
had have a problem being content.
What was it Paul said about being content?
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
Is the secret of being content in every situation to die to one’s self on a daily basis?
sometimes that’s what it takes for me.
A cousin of mine shared this with me and it has stuck with me for years:
99% of the time she’s not 100% happy with with her body is because she’s comparing herself to other women.
The reason we are discontent is because we are looking at others who have this or have that. Or don’t have this or that. What if I stopped comparing myself to others? What if you stopped comparing yourself to others? Would your level of contentment change?
When I stop comparing myself
to my friends,
to my family,
to the world…
I don’t see all the stuff that I long for.
I don’t see all the “treasure” that I am lacking.
Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
You get to take two things with you to heaven:
your soul &
Kristin, it’s time you focus on your relationship with Christ and your relationship with others instead of focusing on the stuff you do or do not have, including the Sea World pass you were so looking forward to.
Oh, and did I tell you? I got to visit Sea World free with M and my husband a couple weeks later! God is pretty awesome.
Father, forgive me for lusting after things of this world, being so consumed with me, myself, and I. Change my heart to long for God-glorifying treasure.