God is calling my bluff today dear friends.
He’s calling my depth of faith into question. He’s heard me say so many times that I have faith to believe in him, to believe in him when life gets really hard. And I DO have faith in Him as being God, being my Savior who died for me. But he’s wondering if I will trust him when there’s nothing else to trust in. When my earthly “securities”have come up dry. When he’s literally
that can get me from today to tomorrow.
And I don’t really like it. Well, that’s an understatement. I super-duper, absolutely, truly-truly, don’t like it.
I don’t like it because it hurts and because it’s hard and because I’m afraid he won’t come through.
Today has been a literal crying tears of fear, a confessing my sin of unbelief, and a begging, begging, pleading for him to help me overcome my unbelief and be faithful to me even though I’m not faithful to him.
He’s showing me that if I want a George Mueller kind of prayer life and faith life, I have to live through a tough life season so I can have David-killing-Goliath faith.
I’m focusing on some of his names right now during this Advent season, Isaiah 9:6 to be exact.
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace
I just started with Wonderful Counselor. Wonderful means “a miracle-marvelous thing, wonder, wonderful, wonderfully.” Counselor means “to advise, take advice, counsel, guide purpose.”
So maybe, if I meditate on him as my Wonderful Counselor, I can remember what a miracle he is to me, that he chose me…that he is a marvelous thing that I should be in wonder over. That he will advise me and guide my purpose when all seems lost…that he does in fact have a purpose for me in this moment and in the moments to come. That he has a purpose for you too.
In Psalm 32:8 God says,
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you and watch over you.
That’s the same counsel as in Isaiah. And, he says he will instruct me, teach me, and watch over me. That tells me he hasn’t forgotten me. That tells me he’s going to show me how to walk in faith in this oh-so hard, wishing I wasn’t really having to live it, faith-growing season.
God has used this entry to slow down my heart and refocus it on what really matters. Him.
Maybe you need that today too?